Wishlist 2009
DALE’S CHRISTMAS WISHLIST FOR 2009
James Walsh
2006: That the Chairman would be able to hold a decent conversation after more than 3 beers. Wish NOT granted.
2007: That the Chairman would stop breeding lest we have a nation of red-haired freckled teenagers in 2020. Wish NOT granted.
2008: That the Chairman would return to the Iron Fist with which he ruled the GC in the early years. The past year, in particular, has seen the chairman arriving late or (unheard of in prior years) missing meetings altogether and generally losing control. A firm hand on the wheel is needed as we enter our 2nd Decade. WISH PARTLY GRANTED as evidenced by Mr Walsh’s FULL ATTENDANCE – but vacuum, caused by rudderless ship, resulted in the PizzaGate scandal that saw the resignation of Mr Welldone.
2009: That the Chairman’s perfect attendance record of 2008 be repeated in 2009, even if it means a Walsh divorce as a result of missing the Champagne Castle timeshare week.
Mr Spencer
2006: That Mr Spencer would admit that he doesn’t give a shit about vintage cars and fine wines and has been going down to Cape Town every weekend for the past 6 months to get laid. Also, its no shame to use part of his trust fund inheritance to pay for his girlfriend to move back to JHB and for his father to find her a job at RMB. Wish granted
2007: That Mr Spencer own up to the fact that he doesn’t, after all, have a job and is living of his trust fund. Also that he justifies his tag as “The next GC Member most likely to marry”. Wish not granted
2008: That Mr Spencer and Mr I’ons admit that they are in a relationship and that this is the real reason Mr Spencer was not able to live up to the 2007 Wish above. In addition, that Mr Spencer admit to his gambling addiction and return to his former glory days which saw him capture the GC Man of the Year 2007. Wish not granted
2009: That the GC X Return to their initial hot-air-filled election promises of full GC X attendance, exclusive deals at 5* Restaurants and boundless rewards flowing from GC X membership - as opposed to the occasional briefcase appearance, Wizzit embezzlement and baby draw to which this once fine establishment has dwindled. Lastly, isn’t it time for a new tie ??
Mr I’Ons
2006: That Mr I’ons would make just one meeting on time and dressed appropriately. Wish NOT granted.
2007: That Mr I’ons, like his Riversands housemate, would get a girlfriend, stop taking Thursday’s evening meals and Tuesday’s washing home to mom and would stop yo-yoing between Twiggy and Ollie le Roux on the scales. Wish CERTAINLY NOT granted
2008: That Mr I’Ons concede that Wizzit is a pyramid scheme into which the members have deposited their hard earned cash, never for it to be seen again. In addition, as per 2007, that Yoyo I’Ons settle on a target weight between 70 – 130kgs and aim to stay at this level rather than experimenting with fad diets which lead to strip-offs in international airports. Wizzit Wish – Granted / Diet wish – partly granted
2009: See 2007 wish. Downgraded for 2009 to simply be Mr I’Ons taking a girl out on a date. Also that Mr I’Ons place GC attendance above the Wednesday evening spinning classes at Virgin Active.
Mr Lawson
2006: That Mr Lawson will finally move out of home, get a job, start dating girls old enough to drive and basically BECOME AN ADULT. Wish NOT granted
2007: For the 3rd year running, that Mr Lawson will finally move out of home and will tackle the Cape to Cairo marathon he has been training for over the past 14 years. Wish STILL not granted
2008: Is Mr Lawson gay or addicted to his mom’s cooking ? By Dec 2008, we hope these 2 questions are answered. WISH Partly granted (moved out of home)
2009: The Mr Lawson attend more GC meetings than Chiropractic conferences and that he finally give me Gibbs another chance to show his penis in another GC wedding photos album.
Mr Wellbeloved
2006: That Mr Wellbeloved would attend at least one meeting before desert is served. Wish NOT granted
2007: That Mr Wellbeloved build houses that last longer than Mr Gibbs’ continually collapsing attempts. Wish NOT granted
2008: That Mr Wellbeloved admit the Sharks were lucky to get to the Super 14 final in the 1st place. Further that the boys FINALLY get an invite to Mt Edgecombe. Lastly, that Mr Wellbeloved open a Durban chapter of the GC in an effort to avoid a Gary Star. 1st wish – not granted (although redeemed by Sharks finally winning Currie Cup). 2n wish – STILL not granted. 3rd wish – not granted
2009: That Mr Wellbeloved get through 2009 without forcing / causing the resignation of another disillusioned GC member ala Mr Welldone, who, confused at the alternating style of Hitleresque and then Houdini leadership of Mr Wellbeloved, resigns in confusion.
Mr Rouse
2006: That Mr Rouse would go back to Gillette – what use is dog food compared to the closest shave a man can get. Wish NOT granted
2007: That the war in Mr Rouse’s homeland end and that Mr Rouse provide something more substantial than Mars Bars for the boys – apparently SAB are looking for a new FD ????? Wish NOT granted
2008: That Mr Rouse remain in one country longer than one week and that the War on Terror be won. Part 1 – Granted. Part 2 – certainly not granted as evidenced by current tension in the Middle East.
2009: That Mr Rouse stop attempting to poison members of the GC by providing expired foodstuffs at every opportunity in order to bolster flagging sales. Whilst we at it. Is it not about time that Mr Rouse admit publicly his personal view that Smarties really are better than M&M’s.
Mr Roux
2006: That Wiele surprise all the gentlemen at the March 2006 GC with 2 free tickets for each lad to the Robbie Williams concert. Wish NOT granted
2007: That Wiele admit that he is a closet Sharks fan once and for all. Wish NOT granted
2008: That Wiele repeat his GC Evening of the Year performance of 2007 that remains one of the best evenings in the 10 year history of the GC. Wish NOT Granted
2009: That Wiele come through with tickets for the 2009 British Lions tests for the boys.
Mr Clark
2006: That Mr Clark sends an apology more than 4 hours in advance of a meeting. Note to committee: No more KES boys !!! Wish not granted
2007: That Mr Clark put South African hockey at the top of the world rankings and thank all the boys for their amazing friendship with tickets to the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Wish Still pending
2008: Olympic tickets are selling like hotcakes …. 8 more months to go … Wish not granted
2009: That Mr Clark continue to make the effort to pop into a meeting when in JHB – it was great to see him at Ciao Baby in the November 2008 meeting. Also, that Mr Clark continues in his coaching role with the SA Men’s Hockey side and that the GC attend an international hockey match together.
Mr Jackson Jnr
2006: That Mr Jackson jnr would eventually get a girlfriend, or even just a date. Wish NOT granted
2007: That Mr Jackson jnr would stop trying, in his attempt to obtain a girlfriend, to emulate Richard Gere with his greying hair. Wish NOT granted
2008: That Mr Jackson jnr, like the darkest of dark horses, justify his tag of Next GC Man most likely to marry. Further, with the stock market increasing at 20% pa, what does it take to encourage a bit of insider trading to start funding the next GC weekend away ? STOCK MARKET WISH DEFINITELY NOT GRANTED.
2009: That Mr Jackson jnr desist from wearing some of his 2008 Fashion Statements / Disasters such as the ‘Jeans with Blazer’ popularised by Mr Spencer and the Christmas 2008 monstrosity with the double back buckle. That he also now justify his favourite tag, along with Mr Lawson, as next GC man to be married.
Mr Huggins
2006: That Mr Huggins could come to a meeting in JHB without giving us a 2 hour rundown on the traffic congestion on the N1. Wish NOT granted
2007: That Mr Huggins, the ice-cool IMM, would break down and show the boys his soft, emotional side. Wish NOT granted
2008: That Mr Huggins would arrange free insurance for all the chaps and admit to his sneaky ploy to start a Pretoria based GC. Wish not granted
2009: That the 2009 GC Weekend Away be as much of a success as Mr Huggins’ Sept 08 Mozambique weekend away.
Mr Stubbs
2006: That Mr Stubbs would beat Mr Gibbs in the duzi. Wish ???? granted
2007: That Mr Stubbs would play just one round of golf sober to prove that he could have been a pro but for the bottle. Wish NOT granted.
2008: That Mr Stubbs would get a job at Microsoft and finally get paid for the job of website developer that has consumed the majority of time over the past year and that he has been doing for free to date. Further, that Mr Stubbs would finally be voted GC Man of the Year and stop stabbing his fellow members in the back to get this trophy. Wish not granted
2009: Now that Mr Stubbs has got a real job and stopped breeding, that he return to his 1st love: The GC Website and give it some of the love and attention it received in the 1st two year’s of it’s existence. Note: Website was last updated July 2008.
Mr Jones
2006: That Mr Jones would finally get married. Wish granted.
2007: That Mr Jones would finally admit that he loves his dogs more than any other human being. Wish NOT granted
2008: That Mr Jones would overcome his rare skin disease that prevents him going out in public and that when forced to choose between poker or GC evenings, he in future makes the correct choice or else faces being Gary-starred.
2009: That Mr Jones purchase a jacket that isn’t cream. Beige, off-white, ivory or bone coloured and that has been ironed at least once in the new millennium.
Mr Gibbs
2006: That Mr Gibbs would finally produce the Yearbook he has been promising for two years. Wish NOT granted
2007: That Mr Gibbs, who has had a silver spoon his whole life due to working for daddy, would stop bleating about not getting enough sleep, how much he hates the Vikings and FINALLY produce the Yearbook he has been promising for THREE years. Wish NOT granted
2008: That Mr Gibbs succumb to the Craig McDermott hair transplant therapy. Further, that Mr Gibbs refrain from the pressures of returning to daddy’s business in stick out his new entrepreneurial adventure. PS We have given up on the Yearbook. Wish Granted
2009: That Mr Gibbs win his long-awaited course case regarding the building that “allegedly” fell down and stop appearing in Baby Magazines re the “Gibbs Technique” for a Perfect Night’s Sleep.
Mr Nielson
Northern GC 2006: That Messrs Bailey and Nielson would return to the Land of Plenty. Wish NOT granted
2007: That Mr Nielson would support the Boks and not England in the 2007 World Cup. Wish granted.
2008: That Mr Nielson finally recover from his Stubbs-like impersonation on the golf course at the 10th Anniversary Weekend Away that saw him collapse like a SA World Cup cricket team, from which he has never recovered and has not been heard from since. Wish partly granted – Mr Nielson has moved back to JHB.
2009: That Mr Nielson remain in one place (Cape, JHB or overseas) for one whole year and in one job for one whole month.
Mr Bailey
Northern GC 2006: That Messrs Bailey and Nielson would return to the Land of Plenty. Wish NOT granted
2007: That Mr Bailey would support the Boks and not Australia in the 2007 World Cup. Wish granted.
2008: That Messrs Bailey open his holiday home to members throughout the year (provided security is beefed up) Wish not granted.
2009: That Mr Bailey make it for a meeting in 2009 – his presence is missed.
Mr Weldon
2006: That Mr Weldon stop impersonating Gary so convincingly. Wish partly granted
2007: That Mr Weldon stay in a job, or a city, for longer than it takes to boil an egg. Wish NOT granted.
2008: That Mr Welldone begin organising the GC 20 Year Anniversary as penance after being the only member to miss out on the 10 Yr Anniversary. RESIGNED MAY 2008
Franna Banana
2006 & 2007: N/A
2008: That Mr Banana continue as the GC member with the best nickname and hopefully, by this time next year, not still be the Rookie in the GC. Wish not granted
2009: That Mr Banana continue with his outstanding commitment and enthusiasm for the club and that the pullover / jersey that won him the Best Dressed Award in Aug 2008 and was subsequently seen in the Sept, Oct and November meetings continue to grace us with it’s presence in 2009.
Mr Jackson Snr
2008: That Mr Jackson snr would arrange a photo with William Webb Ellis. Wish not yet granted
2009: Mr Jackson snr’s wish for 2009 is that (1) One BIG night be held somewhere within the next 12 months (excludes Weekend Away and any weekend meeting) and (2) that at least one new member be inducted in 2009 to replace Mr Welldone and continue bringing in new blood and (3) the boys attend at least one sporting event together in 2009.